Therapist in Colchester, CT on Reparenting as a Parent
You always envisioned a better life. That’s what parents are supposed to do…right? You wanted to offer something better to your own children than what you had. But when the time came, suddenly, all of these surprisingly intense feelings burst forth. You were grieving, sad, and angry.
It’s been hard to be as patient with them as you wanted. To be the romanticized image of the parent you had hoped for. You don’t even want to admit it. It’s too shameful. Underneath your adult, perfectionistic mask is an inner child whose needs were not met. You were supposed to have it figured out.
Parenting is hard work—beautiful—and hard work. And now you are awakening to reparenting yourself as well.
What are the challenges you are noticing and how can you navigate both your internal child and the little ones before you?
What Makes People-Pleasing a Sign of Parentification?
Parentification is a role reversal in which the child accelerates into adulthood and becomes the parent, assuming adult responsibilities and parenting their parents/caretakers.
Maybe you think, “So what?”
On the one hand, you may say, well everyone has to contribute in the household and your parents/caregivers were struggling.
On the other hand, your childhood was…sacrificed. During your youngest years of play, delight, when all you asked for was someone to focus unconditionally on you…you spent that time turning everything around, focusing on everyone else. Operating out of stress. Out of obligation.
So what are some signals that you were parentified?