What Makes People-Pleasing a Sign of Parentification?
Parentification is a role reversal in which the child accelerates into adulthood and becomes the parent, assuming adult responsibilities and parenting their parents/caretakers.
Maybe you think, “So what?”
On the one hand, you may say, well everyone has to contribute in the household and your parents/caregivers were struggling.
On the other hand, your childhood was…sacrificed. During your youngest years of play, delight, when all you asked for was someone to focus unconditionally on you…you spent that time turning everything around, focusing on everyone else. Operating out of stress. Out of obligation.
So what are some signals that you were parentified?
What Exactly is People-Pleasing? Let’s Get Into it.
People pleasing is a threat/survival response called the fawn response. Just like fight, flight, and freeze, fawn helps you to survive when you feel threatened. You usually use this response to placate a threat, make the threat feel calm and happy, to diminish the threat and to preserve yourself.