A Mother Wound Therapist Says You CAN Get Angry & Confident
You always wanted that easygoing, best friend mother-daughter relationship. But no matter what you did, it was never good enough for her. Sure, she acted like you two were close, like you were the best daughter in public. But in private? The mask wore off. Nothing was right. Everything you did was criticized. And it just felt like, she did not like you.
What did you do wrong?
Nothing. You are a mother wounded adult daughter and you were raised by an emotionally immature mother.
Okay, so what exactly is a mother wound? Let’s dive in.
I Think I Have Emotionally Immature Parents. Now What?
The way emotionally immature parents are in relationship with you is pervasive. The wounds they leave behind don’t have a clear “beginning” and “ending.” Though not all emotionally immature parents present the same way, they do tend to struggle with similar characteristics and leave a similar impact on you, their adult child.
Emotionally mature parents are typically nurturing and protective and are capable of setting structure and offering guidance. Emotionally immature parents, on the other hand, tend to struggle with one or more of these categories. They tend to be distant, rejecting, neglectful, highly critical, self-involved, or even abusive. Essentially, emotionally immature parents are as described: emotionally stunted and stuck—they are chronologically adults, but their emotional behavior, responses, and reactions come from a place similar to someone much, much younger.
Yes, the Imposter Syndrome You Experience is That Deep.
Imposter syndrome is defined by a strong doubt and a lack of belief in who you are and your abilities. But it’s more than that. It also shows up as the idea that when you are yourself, demonstrate your genuine traits, or take up space, that others will cast you out as a liar. Basically, imposter syndrome says, “everyone is waiting to prove that you are a fraud.” You keep waiting for the moment that everyone will figure out that are not the person you claim to be.
Imposter syndrome typically shows up in how you feel towards and around others: you start to feel like you are always putting on a show. You tell yourself that you have to look a certain way so that no one figures out you are really something or someone else. Let's explore some common signs of imposter syndrome to help you identify it in yourself.
A Trauma Therapist’s 5 Tips for Reparenting Yourself
Reparenting is an important part of healing in trauma therapy and recovery. During childhood, if you felt powerless and your needs were unmet and under-valued, reparenting offers you the opportunity to take back your power. In reparenting, you as the capable, choice-making adult get to use your capacities to witness and honor the needs and safety that the younger and past versions of you did not have access to. You are able to create that very safety, nurture, and wisdom now. You get to become your own internal parent and compass. So what are some steps you can take to reparent yourself?
Read more for 5 tips!
Why Seek Online Therapy in CT for Childhood Trauma?
Your past is murky. Some things are unclear and confusing, and some things sting you with shame and discomfort. Your relationship with your parents is frantic: somehow, you have always been the “fixer,” the “responsible one” and whenever you have softened and shown your vulnerable, angry, hurt, or upset sides, you have experienced backlash and panic. The ways that you have hidden yourself worked so well. I mean, hardly anyone has noticed the REAL you. But now it’s starting to eat away at you, make it hard to function, cause you fear. It’s time for you to honestly care for yourself and heal. Why not explore online therapy in Connecticut?
How Do You Reparent Yourself as a Mom? Strategies to Begin
Your gut reaction is to focus on everything and everyone, especially when it comes to your kids. If you learned anything from your own childhood, it was that the moment the attention shifted onto you, you were “bad.” This message, coupled with the high expectations of Moms, leaves you in a whirlwind of traps.
But when you only focus on others, you lose the opportunity for you to care about you—to give yourself the replenishment, care and energy you need to be present for others in a way that feels safe. What would it be like to give and receive help and to love authentically rather than out of obligation?